We nurture and invest all of ourselves in our treasures, aiming to raise them to be happy, successful individuals who are prepared for the world. Want to make the most worthwhile investment? Invest in tools, not just happiness.
I have gathered for you a list of sentences that you simply must incorporate into your household to provide your children with real-life tools: from having a strong and confident inner voice to the ability to accept mistakes without "the world collapsing".
1."You've got this! I believe in you."
Tell your child that they can do it, that they are capable, and that if you believe in them: to take the bowl to the sink, to dress themselves, to bring a glass to the living room, to remove their diaper, to sit on the swing, to draw the tree. Even if something falls or breaks along the way, and of course, age-appropriate. Say sentences like, "I trust you to learn to sleep on your own," "Choose to do it where they do it," and that they will succeed in stringing the beads.
This strengthens their abilities and inner resilience. When they encounter situations that may cause self-doubt, such as during adolescence, there is a good chance that they will rely on their intuition and follow it through to the end. This is the voice of positive inner capability.
2. "Well done, you tried! You put in a lot of effort!"
Encourage every attempt or action your child makes. This conveys the message: "I see you! I see what you've invested, I see the steps you've taken." I focus on the process rather than the final outcome because that's where true learning takes place. Think about how much you've learned recently from the path you've taken? Of course, the end result is important, as we all want to achieve what we aim for.
The attitude towards the outcome should be shifted. Because from the journey (mostly from the failures), we learn the most. From this, we can improve and adjust better for future times.
3. "I couldn't have done it without you! You really helped me"
Our children want to participate and help, and when we give them the opportunity and encourage them, they will always seek to lend a hand and help out. Acknowledge and encourage your children for their willingness to help. Highlight the assistance they provided and give your children the good feeling that they made a significant contribution.
Don't just settle for a simple thank you! For example: "Your calmness really helped me to calm down your sister, I truly couldn't have done it without you," or "Passing me the soap was a big help in bathing your sister, my hands were so busy!"
4. "I made a mistake, I'm sorry".
Share your own mistakes with your children constantly, at every level. If you made a scheduling error, were late for a meeting, spilled salt, forgot your phone, didn't buy the book, or failed an exam... We all make mistakes all the time. It's human. Teach your children to acknowledge mistakes by setting a personal example. Here's an opportunity to talk about emotions as well:
Teach your children in a supportive home environment about the universal fact: Everyone makes mistakes! It's better for them to recognize this at home than for the reality of the world of mistakes to overwhelm them during adolescence.
5. "I love you!"
Say it all the time, it's never too much. Whenever you feel it, share it! There's no need to wait for special moments like a first-grade graduation or holiday evening. Don't wait for perfect moments of happiness to say it - during a family dinner or a moment of enjoyment is just as perfect. It fills with oxytocin, pride, and also the resilience.
Young children may not always differentiate between anger towards their actions and your love. So, even if you're currently upset with your child, remind them (at any age) that the anger is directed at the behavior and that you always love them.
There are so many more sentences in the world! What about yours? Feel free to write them in the comments and share your own!
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